All of a sudden, Ravana’s sister comes running to him very disturbed. She is screaming very loudly and all of a sudden it gets the king's attention and he sees such an awful scene. Ravana look's to where this loud terrifying noice has occured and noticed Soorpanaka, the king's sisters, has been slashed on her face and she is badly hurt but this does not stop her from telling the king what happened.
She is scared to tell him what happened because of the fear he might be mad but she goes on and tells Ravana that Rama is here.
Ravana face becomes stone cold. He knows who she is talking about. He knows that it’s the only human that can defeat Ravana and all of his Rakshasas. He begins to panic but then Soorpanaka calms him down and says,"I have a plan, To create a trap for him and lead him into the castle and surround him."
Rama has begun to get closer to the point of attack but what Ravana does not know is that Rama has put a curse on Soorpanaka. This curse is about to cost Ravana his life. The curse is so powerful that it makes Soorpanka lie to her own brother. This curse has filled her with the lie that can ruin Ravana's life. Rama has been a huge enemy of Ravana for many years because he wanted the power Ravana had to use it for good instead of evil.
The only way this curse works is if Sita is involved. Sita is in love with Rama and will do anything to help him. Sita has a power to put curses on people and give the ability to people to put curses on other people. She gained this ability when she was very young and has used it wisely since then. She gave the power to let Rama put this curse on Soorpanaka. If Sita was not with Rama he could not put this powerful curse on Soorpanaka.
What Ravana does not know is that Rama and Sita have been sitting in the crowd, watching. Rama and Sita knew that once they put the curse on her they would have to follow her and watch her tell Ravana the lie. They got to the celebration by sneaking past some guards. While Rama and Sita sit back in the crowd of people listening to what is going on and looking at Ravana's expressions, Soorpanaka has told the lie and Ravana begins deliberations for this plan to go into effect. The lie was to trick Ravana into believing that his palace was on fire. They plan to take Ravana down and free the people of the region of his evil.
Ravana starts to put his men into place and that’s also when Rama and Sita get into their spots to take down Ravana. Ravana begins the plan but before he even knew it Sita comes from behind and shocks him with her beauty and then Rama starts to blind all of the Rakshasas and they capture Ravana and take him into the forest where the journey to Rama’s kingdom begins. Rama has decided to keep Ravana a prisoner until his fate catches up to him. He wants him to pay for what he has done to all of the people of the region. The region has been forced by Ravana to support him and his ideas. Rama will release this curse with the help of Sita and everyone will live free again.
Rama releases this curse with the help of Sita, and when the people are free of the curse, they notice that their King is not really with Rama. Ravana knew about the plan all along because he knew Rama was jealous of his power and he had his guard up at all times to be ready for a trap. While getting his men into place he disguised a civilian like him to trick Rama. He knew his sister would never do such a thing to lie to him, so from then he knew what was going on. He always had a plan for a trap like this one and set a trap for Rama instead and put a disguise on someone to make Rama think it was him. Ravana's plan worked and a random civilian was with Rama and Rama had no idea what had happened but this will ultimately cost him maybe his life and Sita’s life. Rama will eventually find out when he gets back to his region and that is when Ravana will end Rama's brilliant plan and take his life.
Ravana's plan is to take out Rama and Sita in their sleep on the way back to their region. Ravana knew everything going on while on the way back and knew exactly when to make his move to finally destroy his long time enemy.
Author's Note: I am going to talk about a section where Ravana was getting praised but then Soorpanka came screaming so loudly everyone had to know what was going on. She was running and crying saying, “Look what happened to me." She was badly hurt on her face and she revealed Rama had done this to her. She then started talking about how strong he was and how beautiful Sita was. Then she was saying how "Sita should be your woman and I will take care of Rama" but she also got Ravana so caught up on Sita that he had to know more about her and began to think he had to have her for his own. Soorpanaka ultimately came up with a plan to separate Rama and Sita and that way they could be defeated. In my story I made Rama think he confused Ravana into falling into his trap but he did not know that Ravana knew about this trap all along and was prepared to take all of the necessary actions to stay alive. Ravana created a plan to disguise a civilian as him and make Rama believe it was really him in order to later on take Rama by surprise and be able to kill him.
I decided to stay choose to the plot but I wanted to change what the characters did in the story and I tried to make it more interesting and make the reader think about what might happen next. I decided to chose this image because I thought it best represented my story and I chose this story because I was very interested when I was reading about it and thought it was a great story I could work with.
Bibliography: R.K. Narayan, The Ramayana, 1972. Ramayana.
Rama releases this curse with the help of Sita, and when the people are free of the curse, they notice that their King is not really with Rama. Ravana knew about the plan all along because he knew Rama was jealous of his power and he had his guard up at all times to be ready for a trap. While getting his men into place he disguised a civilian like him to trick Rama. He knew his sister would never do such a thing to lie to him, so from then he knew what was going on. He always had a plan for a trap like this one and set a trap for Rama instead and put a disguise on someone to make Rama think it was him. Ravana's plan worked and a random civilian was with Rama and Rama had no idea what had happened but this will ultimately cost him maybe his life and Sita’s life. Rama will eventually find out when he gets back to his region and that is when Ravana will end Rama's brilliant plan and take his life.
Ravana's plan is to take out Rama and Sita in their sleep on the way back to their region. Ravana knew everything going on while on the way back and knew exactly when to make his move to finally destroy his long time enemy.
Author's Note: I am going to talk about a section where Ravana was getting praised but then Soorpanka came screaming so loudly everyone had to know what was going on. She was running and crying saying, “Look what happened to me." She was badly hurt on her face and she revealed Rama had done this to her. She then started talking about how strong he was and how beautiful Sita was. Then she was saying how "Sita should be your woman and I will take care of Rama" but she also got Ravana so caught up on Sita that he had to know more about her and began to think he had to have her for his own. Soorpanaka ultimately came up with a plan to separate Rama and Sita and that way they could be defeated. In my story I made Rama think he confused Ravana into falling into his trap but he did not know that Ravana knew about this trap all along and was prepared to take all of the necessary actions to stay alive. Ravana created a plan to disguise a civilian as him and make Rama believe it was really him in order to later on take Rama by surprise and be able to kill him.
I decided to stay choose to the plot but I wanted to change what the characters did in the story and I tried to make it more interesting and make the reader think about what might happen next. I decided to chose this image because I thought it best represented my story and I chose this story because I was very interested when I was reading about it and thought it was a great story I could work with.
Bibliography: R.K. Narayan, The Ramayana, 1972. Ramayana.
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Rama and Sita Source: Hostelworld |
This was an interesting retelling of the story. You were able to tell the story in a different way, while at the same time summarizing the main plot of the original. I like that you focused on Soorpanakha's character because, oddly enough, she is my favorite in the entire story. I noticed you are doing a portfolio project, so I wonder what kind of details you could add to this story in the future.
ReplyDeleteThomas, your story was really interesting. I like how everyone had a plan and things got so complicated. It was very double agent in the way that Ravana knew about Rama’s plans and was willing to play along so that he could survive. You gave great details about the whole event so I knew what was going on the whole time. As far as structure, it would have been helpful if the paragraph you wrote was broken up a little more. I had a hard time reading it since everything was sort of clumped together. I wonder what will happen now that Rama realizes that Ravana knew about his plan all along. Ravana now has a way to ruin both Rama and Sita’s lives forever.
ReplyDeleteHello Thomas,
ReplyDeleteI randomly chose to read your retelling story and comment on. Good job in making the story great. It was nice and interesting. It was a great way of retelling the story because I found your way a unique idea of retelling the story. I enjoyed it how you expand on Soorpanakh’s character because we did not get to see a lot about her. It is always great to see new characters playing roles. You had some great details and description in the story. The only thing I am concerned about is the formatting. It would have been great in a paragraph form just to make it easily readable. Overall, you did a great job in coming up with a unique idea. I really enjoyed reading your way of retelling the story and I am looking forward to read more of your stories in the future. Thanks for sharing.
Thomas, your story was very interesting and I enjoyed reading. I liked all of the details that you included in your story. The fact that you made Ravana know Rama's plan all along makes it very interesting. I am curious to see what happens next for Rama and Sita. Glad I got to read your story. I do agree with Savannah in that more paragraphs would have helped! Great story.
ReplyDeleteThomas, I really enjoyed your more complicated version of the story. The layered plans on both sides kept me guessing as to what the ultimate outcome would be. I also like that your story almost immediately diverges from the original version. I think that by do that you make it a lot more of your own story. I also like your version of Rama. He seems to be more devious, laying out plans and sneaking around. That kind of made me wonder, what if he wasn't good and was actually another demon trying to take Ravana's power? I think that would be a cool play on the idea of a traditional protagonist vs. antagonist story.
ReplyDeleteI found a few run on sentences, and you also had a tendency to say the same things repeatedly, like "all of a sudden." I think that these together give the story a bit of a stunted flow, which is pretty hard on your story since it is so complicated. It left it a little confusing. However, I think the underlying plot is great, so if you fix the few grammar mistakes, I think the story will come out wonderfully.
Hi Thomas,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story. You definitely made it your own in the aspect of taking a story and then twisting it to not exactly follow the plot of the original story but follow some of the same lines. You did a fantastic job of describing your story and making it very easy to follow along and imagine what is going on. My only help would include maybe adding some more dialogue to break up the story a little bit better and to further add some personality to each character. I also really liked how you put your Author's Note at the end and described the story where you came up with your intriguing story! Overall, your story was awesome, and I really loved getting to read it! I liked how you highlighted some of the sentences. This gave big emphasis on them. I have not thought about doing that, so thank you for the idea!